Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
