i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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