I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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