I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
