You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
