she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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