I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
