some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
So many bounce houses so little time
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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