i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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