just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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