Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
