I don't think brook has ever known best
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
