The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
