i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
