I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
There's always time for handjobs
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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