At least make sure they are 18
Why
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
My breasts were aching with rage.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
