In the future we'll all be gay
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
