How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Randomize
