We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
