coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
