Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
