YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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