I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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