Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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