We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
