also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
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I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
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I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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