Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Randomize
