I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
we made out on top of his cat.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
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