Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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