I need to stop coming to work sober
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
COCAINE IS GR8
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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