Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
