ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize