Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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