I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize