Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize