There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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