a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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