I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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