i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
