i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
you had me at cake vodka
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
