I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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