he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
