I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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