Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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