Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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