Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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