Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
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