im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
my being single is dangerous.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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