the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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