So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
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Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
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My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
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