He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
