Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She even gives head with a lisp.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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