But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
