if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
two words...techno handjob
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
