It's like a parade of train wrecks.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
