mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize