I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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