quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
