i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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