I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
