"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
