I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
