if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
