Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
this beer tastes like vomit already
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
