And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
